Parenting Tips on Molding Our Children to Have Kindness, Compassion, a Sense of Duty and Obligation
According to Mencius, a Chinese philosopher who was arguably the most famous Confucian after Confucius himself, empathy is due to loving kindness and compassion; a feeling of shame is due to a sense of duty and obligation; ability to give way is due to proper etiquette, and ability to differentiate goodness from bad is due to wisdom. These four qualities are said to be likened to our four limbs, and we are incomplete as a human if we lack any of them.
As parents, we need to decide whether we want to nurture and develop our children to become human beings who are able to perpetuate the virtues of heaven and earth, not ones who are merely concerned about satisfying and fulfilling self desires and crazes. The moral and value standards of our new generation have deteriorated, and if this trend is allowed to continue, the human race will eventually suffer the consequences.
It has been said that the virtues of loving kindness and compassion can help us in resolving the problems and challenges we face in the twenty first century. We have to enhance our formal education system that did not focus on instilling loving kindness and compassion with the teaching of Mencius as mentioned above to our children.
Our thoughts will determine our character, behavior and action. During a discussion session, this question was raised, "When you acquired some delicious food, what is the first thought that comes to your mind?" There was a young man of about thirty years old, who answered without hesitation, "I will eat it right away". A lady of about forty over years old answered that she will give it to her children. Another man of about seventy years old answered that he will give it to his parents. Who amongst the three do you think is better educated? The person whose thoughts always centered on benefiting others besides him is the one who can be considered to be better educated. Selfishness is the main cause of many of today's problems.
A person who has been indoctrinated to be self-centered will eventually becomes one who is selfish and always thinks of benefiting himself first. If he does not get what he wanted or others do not give in to his demands, he would probably quarrel or fight for it. If he didn't get his way, he would probably be planning and taking other affirmative actions to destroy the other party. If the leaders of the countries are of such mindset and character, what will happen to our world if they decide to fight with each other when they are not able to get their way? If we assembled all the nucleus weapons available in the world, the power could probably be sufficient to destroy this earth many times.
In Sichuan, China, there was a news report about a thirteen year-old boy who had murdered his parents by putting poisons into their food. His objective of killing his parents was to get the benefit from the insurance pay-out so that he can buy the latest cell-phone. This would be the consequence when one is not able to think of others.
Our ancestors have taught us that "Desires are like deep valleys; Desires bewilder the wisdom". Desires are as deep as the bottomless valley, you cannot reach the bottom. If we focus only on satisfying our benefits and our desires, we will ignore and neglect our duties and obligations.
As parents, we need to take action and focus on nurturing and developing our children to have loving kindness and compassion, sense of duty and obligation, proper etiquette and wisdom to enable our children to sail through the rough waters of their life.
Ng Kim Siang
He is a Systems Analyst by profession and has spent a large part of his career managing large technology projects in the Banking industry. He holds a Masters degree in Business Administration from the University of Bath, UK and is currently pursuing a Diploma on a Pre-School Educator Course. Visit his website now to discover more: http://www.TipsToEnrichYourLife.com/parenting.
Parenting Tips on Molding Our Children to Have Kindness, Compassion, a Sense of Duty and Obligation
By Kim Siang Ng
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